The Journey is Mine, and Mine Alone

Ehhhh....so I didn't work out this weekend.  Saturday I spent time with friends, and  I had planned on getting on the pole today for at least a short amount of time, but frankly I was lazy and decided to bum around the house with my husband.

In my weekend of leisure, I have found myself contemplating a few things.  It mostly was brought on when I was discussing my pole dancing to a woman, and I made a joke about how I assumed stripping was easy.....(I replaced "pimpin'" with "strippin'" and sang "strippin' aint easy" haha!)
She found the conversation amusing, however I was struck with this thought that it seems like everyone needs to define this.  Even me is seems.  Just about every aspect of it.

There are so many ways to describe what we do.  Pole dancing, pole fitness, aerial gymnastics, stripping, and the list goes on......Often times when I talk to people I don't know well, I say "pole fitness".  The joke around the house and with my more traditional family members, is "it's a FITNESS pole, NOT a STRIPPER pole....I keep my clothes on *wink*"

Because that's how it is.  The typical initial conversation.
"erm, Pole Girl, what's that?"
"oh, it's my pole!  for my pole dancing....such a great way to work out and very fun!"
"so....you're like...a stripper?"
".....no...."
"well, but that's a stripper pole, right??"
**lesigh**  "no, no, it's a fitness pole!  this is a serious sport, we have competitions and many would like to see it in the Olympics...."
**blank stare** "but, you're dancing on a stripper pole..."
"Ok, well, yes, many people, myself included, use this pole to dance,....SOME people wear heels, dance around and remove their clothes....OTHER people wear ballet shoes or barefeet and keep their clothes on.  I keep my clothes on and use my bare feet."
"oh ok, I think I get it...."

And that's it.  The asinine conversation that I have with many people....in some attempt to explain what the fuck I'm doing every day with the pole in my game room.

Then, there is the conversation where people just flat out try to force their vision of pole dancing onto me.  Mostly this is guys....talking about how women who pole dance are "so sexy".  Now, see, this....this actually bothers me more than the aforementioned conversation.  Because with their categorization of this act being "sexy" I am now placed in a place of judgement ie, do you consider me sexy?

Well, no.  Not likely, because I'm bigger than what most guys consider to be the societal image of sexy.  I mean, what the fuck ever, I rock the shit out of my pole and my husband finds me sexy as hell....but I dislike being forced into this.  This, objectification.  This almost requirement that I am doing MUST be sexy.

Look, I'm going to lay it out there.  What I do, I do not consider it to be sexy.  I'm not THAT kind of dancer.  If you are, or if you know someone who is, I'm all for it.  But that is not my personal style.  And, when you say something to me, about it being sexy, or how I'm sexy, it instantly fucks me up.  I go from a situation of amazing empowerment, self confident woman getting an incredible work out and building serious muscle, to questioning why you think what I'm doing is sexy.....

I mean, my focus is not on the floorwork.  I do it occasionally, but seriously, you're more likely to see me working on my releve, saute and plies than bouncing my ass.  I want the aerial, the poses, the progression in my "art". 

And, that is ok.  Cause that's me.

And it is ok if you are not that kind of pole dancer.

But, please don't force your ideal that all pole dancers must be sexy vixens, and I won't force my vision of being an aerial goddess. 

Because, in the end, it's all about our own personal journey on the pole.  Our own quest to our inner dancer, whatever type that is...be is sexy, acrobatic, or classical.