Sexy?!?!

I'm one of "those" women.
The kind that emphatically will state "it's not sexy".
The person who will look at crazy if you even attempt to deny the sheer athleticism in pole.

I don't dance for some outside source to enjoy me.
I dance for me.
I move for me.

Today is a Sunday, and it was pretty fucking lazy.  I was getting just really down, so I decided to pole.  Of course.  My husband took the opportunity to play some guitar while I worked out.  I did my warm ups, I did my climbs, I did my abs and my stretches.  I did my lunges and squats.  I did my handstands and worked on my caterpillar and layback. 

But, I wanted to dance.  Sporadically throughout his guitaring, I would twirl around, toss out my leg, so some spins and poses.  However he wasn't exactly playing songs I really wanted to get into.....so I just asked him to play one of my faves on the ipod.  He put on Eminem, "Shake that ass"

This is where shit went from "typical cohabitation with our interests" to "holy fuck". 
See, my husband, has never actually SEEN me pole dance.
I'll show him the moves I'm working on, I'll show him the spins and poses I've finally gotten...but he's never watched me out and out dance.

So there was the starting beat, and like any other pole day, I let it in, all the way down to my toes.  They instinctively went to the dance point, and I sauntered up to the pole.
It was at this point I asked my husband (who was staring at me) to please focus on his guitar....which he began to play something to enhance the song...it was great.

Honestly at this point, I don't really know what all I did, I don't choreograph it, I freestyle.  I know I did some attitude spins, I did some hook and rolls.  I was spinning around the pole, doing dips and letting my hips sway to the beats busting out of my boombox....I could feel the sweat and my heart beating fast. 
I do know that with this particular song, I shake my ass, quite a bit.  I do it fast, I do it slow.  I slide down the pole into a very low squat and work my hips.  I lean back with one arm on the pole and body roll.  I mean, it's hard not to do all of this with that song.  Have you heard the lyrics?  Have you heard the beat? 

I finished the song and my husband just diverted his eyes from me.  I knew he had something on his mind, but didn't want to upset me.  Obviously he thought I looked really bad and didn't want to tell me I looked like a fish flopping out of water.

But he didn't.  He said that he knew I didn't feel like it was "sexy" and I don't dance for it to be....that in my head, I'm just dancing....but "holy shit, that was sexy as fuck baby.....I didn't know you could move like that". 
And then I felt slightly weird and laughed, because, I'm NOT sexy.  I was suddenly very self aware and didn't exactly enjoy it (although I was glad that he didn't think I sucked, lol)  He wanted to video me doing the dance so he could show everyone.  And for a few hours after that he kept mentioning how it was stuck in his head, and how much he enjoyed it.

I'm glad he did, I guess.  I'm not sure.  I know that I'll have to be ok with people watching me dance if I ever hope to compete.....but, it was very confusing to hear him say what I was doing was sexy and he enjoyed it.  (Cause I certainly don't see what he was seeing!)  He wants me to put it up on my blog.  I'm debating it.....only a handful of people actually read this anyway, so I don't see the harm I guess....

My husband saw me dance for the very first time in 4 months of poling. 
And he said it was sexy.