Emotional Breakdown

Maybe these are a normal part of the recovery process, I'm not sure.
But I had a major emotional breakdown last night.

My husband convinced me that "for science" I should weigh myself.  Ya know, to see how much of a difference there was.  I didn't want to.  I told him that I was swollen and filled with fluids from surgery, and I was trying to be strong and NOT weigh myself until I was a  month out.  Because I get extremely fixated on the number on the scale.  It's a personal issue I know I have and I was trying to focus on recovery, not a number.

But he insisted.  So I got up there, and I was roughly 5 pounds heavier than I was the day I went in for surgery.  Suddenly, everything in me crumpled and I felt like it was all pointless.
*stating here, I am aware that a tummy tuck is not weight loss surgery, but the amount of skin they took off of me, it'd be hard NOT to lose weight*
All of this pain, all of these sore muscles and inability to do anything active......was pointless.

He saw it.  He almost pushed me off the scale.  I know he didn't intend for that to be the result, and I know he feels just horrible about it.  He spent a good portion of time last night trying his hardest to help me come back to the land of positivity.

But all I could do was cry.  Question all my actions.
Nothing was changing on my body.  I look like a swallowed a pumpkin, I'm all bruised up, everything, basically, is horrible.

Then it spiraled into concerns about how maybe this is what I am going to look like?  I know my doctor said I was going to swell like a pumpkin.  I know she said that swelling would last for awhile.  But, what if this was it??  What if I removed the saggy lower skin just to now look like a permanent 9 month pregnant woman?

By the way, I am officially one week post op today.
In my head, I feel like I should see more of a difference than I do.
I feel like I am going to be told that I won't see much of a difference until I'm almost 4 or 5 weeks post op.

They want me to wear this smaller compression garment to help squeeze out all the extra fluids.  But it doesn't fit.  It's too large on the lower abdomen area, and by the time I get under my boobs it will barely close and I cannot breath (and all my muscles feel as if they are on fire).  So I am wearing the bigger one.....which has some compression in it but not much.  If I had my tubes out I could wear these other ones I have here that would fit me wonderfully well, and cause no issues.

Right now.  I'm having a very hard time emotionally with this.
I'm hoping that my doctor will help me with some of these issues this afternoon.